There are four parts to the word "self". Self consists of: self-control, self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem. The first concept I would like to cover is self-control. A great professor of mine, Laurie Arvay, said, "I use the term descipline to describe self-control and emotional regulation. These skills enable children to be what we call good citizens: responsible for themselves and respectful of others."
Before you can begin to promote self-control, you must ensure that basic physical needs are met. Maslow's theory supports the idea that in order to succeed in any other area, our physiological needs MUST be met.
Here are some suggestions prepared by Jolyn Holladay to promote self-control:
1: Help children recognize and label thier emotions
2: Suggest appropriate ways to accomplish their goals.
3: Make "no" mean "no". (You must be consistent. When you lose consistancy, you lose the child's trust and misbehavior occurs. The child becomes aware that that whatever you say does NOT always go.)
4: Point out the child's progress. (Use encouragement. Avoid empty praise. Make your words mean something, be sincere.)
5: Label bad behavior, DON'T label the child. Reassure them that you love them no matter what.
6: State your confidence that the child will make "better choices next time". (Search for solutions together. Ex. "You can choose to brush your teeth or have your bedtime story first. You can choose for yourself, or I can help you.")
Information from Laurie Arvay, M.S. Ed. Discipline Isn't a Dirty Word, and Jolyn Holladay of WSU